Goodbyes and New Beginnings

The newest members of the Peace Corps Senegal family are officially in country. 54 new Health and Environmental Education volunteers arrived in Thies this past Wednesday to begin their two months of pre-service training (PST). I was asked several weeks ago to take on many of the responsibilities I had during the last group's PST, including being a "cultural liason" and helping out with various trainings, presentations, etc. However, as the arrival of the new trainees grew nearer, I realized that unlike the last time around, I actually have work to do in Pout. It became apparent that it wasn't all that necessary for me to be as involved as previously planned. Plus, since these volunteers are not in the same program as I am and will have permanent sites far from where I live, I feel less inclined to take time away from my work in Pout.

I did head into Thies on Friday to help out with a cross cultural fair and was able to meet and chat with all of the newbies. Turns out 10-12 of them will be moving to Pout and will be living with home stay families here for the next 2 months. It seems like the Health/EE trainees from the previous group who lived in Pout were just here...but that was almost a year ago. It's crazy how time can fly by. With the arrival of this new training group, my group who arrived in August '09 is officially the "senior class." The next class to arrive will be our replacements and then I'll be headed back to America. Crazy.

This morning I had what one could call a different type of new beginning. I had a long heart to heart with my counterpart at the mayor's office, and it put in perspective his role in my life as a volunteer. My counterpart and I have had what I would call a rocky friendship. At the beginning of my service, I relied heavily on him to show me around Pout, introduce me to all the necessary people, and he was truly a priceless resource during those first few months. We continued to work together to set up trainings, make the necessary contacts, and the like. But over time, I became more habituated to doing things completely on my own and worrying less about running things by him. I suppose in my mind, this was the obvious next step in the journey of a volunteer; being able to start projects and work on my own seemed beneficial to me and beneficial to him, since he, too, had other jobs to do.

However, my lack of communication with him started to take its toll on our friendship. I would see him in the street on my way to various projects and I would make some excuse about why I hadn't called him to discuss what I was doing. In reality, I hadn't even thought about calling him because I figured he was busy doing other things...and wouldn't he want me to be independent? He would then make me feel extremely guilty about it, berating me for not including him on everything I was doing. "You've forgotten me", he would tell me. This in turn would make me feel awful; I'd invite him to the next class or next project I was doing, and when he wouldn't show, I would just forget about it. The next time I would see him, the same conversation would take place and we'd both be upset all over again. This went on for months.

This morning I happened to run into him at the mayor's office while I was watering my compost. He asked me what I was doing and when I mentioned the compost he became visibly upset that he knew nothing about it or the upcoming gardening training next week. I realized as we were speaking that I had not even thought to tell him about it, not out of spite, but simply because my supervisor in the Mayor's office and I had everything already covered. He finally broached the subject that we had both been awkwardly avoiding; "I thought I was your counterpart. I made a promise to you when you were in training that I would help you and be here for you until the very end. Why haven't you just explained to me that you don't need my help?"

He went on to explain that in Senegalese culture, when someone says they will be with you as counterpart, and more importantly, as a friend, they mean it. They are faithful to you, and they don't take the responsibility for granted (at least most of the time - based on some of the horror stories I've heard from PCVs about their counterparts makes it very clear that this is not always the case). I hadn't thought about it that way until this morning. I realized that this entire time, he was more hurt that I wasn't cultivating the bond we had shared and respecting him as a friend, and far less concerned about actually attending the classes and events I was responsible for. It also made me realize that Americans are far less inclined to view relationships like this. We tend to let friendships fall by the wayside far more frequently. That's not to say that when we have very close friends we don't put effort into those friendships. But, we become used to losing touch with people and letting friendships dissolve because we simply don't have time to cultivate them in our busy lives. I wouldn't label this kind of behavior as good or bad because our reasons for doing so vary so much from person to person; it's just the way Americans are. And that way is very different from the Senegalese way, which is something I frequently forget when I'm so wrapped up in my own life.

I attempted to explain this cultural difference to my counterpart as best I could, and I think he understood. He told me all that he had wanted was for me to be honest with him. If I had explained that I want and need to do things on my own in order to be a more confident and effective volunteer then he would have understood long ago. I guess that's one of the many instances when I have been ignorant of how something that I assume to be trivial and unimportant is taken much more personally by a Senegalese person. We ended the conversation on a good note; he'll be attending the gardening training next week as a spectator, and we both promised to be more understanding in the future. After all, I have only a few months left here and I would hate to leave without restrengthening our friendship.

As for goodbyes, this week will be full of them. I'm headed to Dakar tomorrow to say au revoir to my boss, Nicole. She is the head of the business program that I am in, but due to various medical issues, she is leaving Peace Corps. It's a major bummer, not only because she's been a great boss, but also because that means we'll be spending the rest of our service without a program director. On Wednesday, my friends and I will be saying goodbye to several third year volunteers who have been here since we arrived and who we've grown very close to. That will certainly be a tear jerker, but I'm trying to stay positive and remember that I'll see them again Stateside at some point in the future.

Hoping all is well in your world. Jamm ak Jamm.