A Fine Line

Senegal and I have not been on the best terms lately. Drum parties and mosque chanting keeping me up at night, EVERY night, for weeks on end; constant racial slurs and kids who throw sand in my face; work projects that seem to go nowhere; and to top it off the official arrival of the hottest time of the year. I know that in the grand scheme of things my current issues with Senegal are miniscule in compared to how bad it really could be. But I’m over it. I feel so guilty about not having the same level of motivation that I used to, but since the end is so near I’m finding it really difficult to keep my same mental stride. The last couple of weeks have been a fine line between keeping it together and a mental breakdown.

I’m trying my best to stay positive. I only have two months left after all (the American job hunt has officially begun!) and once June hits I’ll be really busy with training the new group of volunteers who are due to arrive. I’ll also be embarking on a trip up to St. Louis the second weekend in June for the annual Jazz Festival with a ton of other volunteers, followed by our Close of Service conference in Dakar. In the meantime, May has proved to be the longest month ever and time seems to have slowed down to an agonizingly slow pace.

One thing that does keep me going, no matter what, is the time I spend with the 5^th graders I teach each week. I can be in a terrible, downtrodden mood and the second I enter the classroom with them I’m instantly cheered up. I do spend a large amount of time yelling at them to quiet down or attempting to maintain some semblance of order, which is usually an epic fail, but I can’t help reveling in the sheer joy of teaching. This past Monday was the third installment of the 5 week curriculum for my current class. The topic was “the role of government”, and more specifically, how taxes work in our community. Part of the lesson involves role playing; I represent the tax collector and the students split up into two groups of government workers and non government workers. The goal is to show them how everyone (even the President of Senegal and the Mayor of Pout) must pay taxes, and that the tax revenue is then used by the local government branch to pay the salaries of government workers and fund government programs. I think the best moment was when a little boy (who is quite possibly the cutest 5^th grader in the world; he has a prosthetic leg and is forced to walk with a limp but never, ever stops smiling) raises his hand and proclaimed, “I get it now! I couldn’t call the fire department if the firemen weren’t getting paid, and they wouldn’t be getting paid if we didn’t pay taxes. So, we shouldn’t hate the tax man.” Voila, kid! I was so proud at that moment.

On Tuesday of this week I had a much needed sojourn into Thies to help welcome the new health volunteer who was installed there recently. A big group of us enjoyed a nice lunch and chatted about all of our current work projects. Yesterday I visited the middle school for the umpteenth time and finally managed to scrounge up a list of the top 9 female students who will be participating in the scholarship program. Instead of giving me the phone numbers so I could contact the girls directly, the principal decided it was a better idea to visit each and every classroom at the school searching for them. We literally interrupted every class that was in session, and even if a particular class didn’t have any of the scholarship participants present, the principal lectured the students on how they weren’t as smart as the girls who will win and how “this nice white lady here won’t be giving any of you money.” It was beyond awkward. The principal just laughed the entire time while I was trying to hide my look of horror. The Senegalese system of “motivation” and not-so-positive reinforcement is something I will never, ever understand.

Since that little field trip is over, I’m on track to be able to finish the scholarship process. I’ll be meeting with all 9 of the girls tomorrow to explain the process and give them their “entrance essays” which is really just a few questions on why they feel education is important and why they want to continue in school. Insha’Allah, I’ll be starting the interviews and at-home visits with the girls this weekend. I’m excited because I really enjoy talking with these girls and their families, and that will surely get me out of my rut.

Ndank, ndank. Little by little.